Eventually, it’s a bad situation. However, let’s focus on right now. What is the reason that you have to move on? Is it a breakup? Did someone cheat on you? Did someone you have a heart for, fell for someone else? Did you work so hard on something but weren’t able to push it through? Did you say something you thought was brilliant but didn’t get the response you expected? Are you missing your old job? Did you fail at something or with someone?
If you didn’t answer yes to any of the above, then this is just a read for you. For those who answered yes, let me ask you why don’t you want to move on? Is it because you think that something is still there? Like a feeling or hope for change. Or is it because you can’t go down without a fight? For something you really believe in or your own need to make them see your point of view?
Whichever it is, or if not mentioned here, you have got to weigh your options. Is it worth fighting for? Will it give you the same satisfaction as when it was effortless? Will anyone, especially yourself get hurt in the process or should you not get what you want in the end?
Speaking from a heart that had many times failed to move on, most of the endings were not favorable. The worst part was that someone said it first.
Honestly, moving on is not an easy thing to do. If it is career related, your mind beats you down with all the sweat and tears you’ve poured into it. If it is relationship related, your mind keeps wandering back to the good memories and regrets of what could have been if you did or said something else. Both situations will make your heart hurt so much that you can actually feel physical pain.
Some people say, it is a process that you have to go through to find closure. Some say that finding closure is not of any good. The truth is everyone has their own stories to back up their reasons for not moving on. It is the same for those trying to move on but keep falling back into that trap of hoping that it could get better. In some cases, it does. In most, you’re better off.
So, the real question is, are you willing to take that risk? Moving on is not a process but it is actually courage to take a lesson and do better with something or someone new. First and foremost, however is to give priority to yourself before others. It was your lesson to learn and you did some things right. Own it. Take inventory if you must or if it helps. You’ll see that you’ve experienced something worthwhile after all. That’s when moving on becomes easier. It will just become, “Okay. What’s next?”.
Popular discourse: To move on, you need to find closure.
As true as we want this to be, it is an ideal situation for a relationship. It can happen when both parties are agreeable to close the chapter together. It often leads to intimacy for that one last call. The next day, you will sort of magically feel indifferent about the past. It’s just like in the movies.
In reality, that closure comes from within yourself. It demands that you let go of whatever it is that you’re hanging on to. Be it a memory, a physical thing or a feeling. Of course, this is easier said than done, but the only way to move forward is if you can let go of the past. After a year, you still find yourself clinging on to that idea and wondering if it would be different if you had done it differently.
You didn’t. So, what now?
The workaround: You don’t need to let go to move on.
Oh, wow what a relieve! You see, while you’re still trying to hang on to that bits and pieces, everyone else and everything else will still have to go on with or without you. As long as you can accept that you don’t need to catch up with any of that, you’re likely walking the right path. You’re already making your own way at your own pace. You’ve already become a self-respecting person.
If you had loved wholeheartedly then embrace that. If you had worked with the utmost sincerity to achieve success, then celebrate that. Don’t let that go. These are your qualities that will get you through whatever challenge that’s ahead of you.
The failure? It was just part of becoming better. In fact, it is a great opportunity to start over because you know what? You deserve better. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They don’t know your story because you write your own.
